The Power of Identity Shift: From “I’m Trying to Quit” to “I’m the Kind of Person Who…”
When it comes to recovery, many people start with a familiar phrase: “I’m trying to quit.” Trying to quit drinking. Trying to quit smoking. Trying to quit overeating.
The problem with this mindset is that it keeps the focus on what we’re resisting, not on who we’re becoming. A more powerful approach is to shift into identity: “I’m the kind of person who…”
This shift — from quitting a behavior to embodying an identity — is one of the most effective tools in sustainable recovery.
What Is Identity and Why Does It Matter?
Identity is the story we tell ourselves about who we are. Psychologist Erik Erikson described identity as a central task of human development (Erikson, 1968). While identity begins forming in adolescence, it evolves throughout our lives, shaped by environment, choices, and relationships (Oyserman et al., 2012).
In the context of addiction, identity often becomes hijacked. Instead of seeing themselves as resilient, capable people, many begin to internalize limiting labels: “I’m just an addict.” These labels can reinforce shame — and shame, research shows, is one of the strongest predictors of relapse.
Visual Image Suggestion:
An image of a mirror reflecting two versions of the same person — one looking defeated, the other standing tall and confident — to symbolize shifting identity.
From Behavior Change to Identity Change
Behavioral science shows that habits tied to identity are more sustainable than habits tied to goals. James Clear, in Atomic Habits (2018), explains: instead of saying, “I’m trying to run three times a week,” you say, “I’m a runner.” Instead of saying, “I’m trying not to drink,” you say, “I’m a person who doesn’t drink.”
This creates congruence. Your behaviors naturally flow from who you believe yourself to be.
From a neuroscience perspective, each time you act in alignment with your desired identity, you strengthen neural pathways in the prefrontal cortex — the brain’s executive control center responsible for decision-making and self-regulation (Heatherton, 2011). Over time, this makes it easier for your brain to choose the identity-aligned action instead of the short-term craving.
Visual Image Suggestion:
A simple brain diagram highlighting the prefrontal cortex, with arrows showing how it overrides the brain’s reward pathways.
Are You Ready to Become That Kind of Person?
True transformation happens when we stop saying “I’m trying to quit” and start living as “I’m the kind of person who…” The 21-Day Breaking Free Challenge helps you embody this shift through daily practices that release old patterns, rewire your brain, and strengthen your alignment with the person you’re becoming.
A Guided Reflection: Who Do You Want to Be?
Try this short reflection exercise.
Imagine yourself 90 days from now. If you were living fully in alignment with your new identity, what would your day look like?
How would you start your morning?
How would you interact with your family, your colleagues, or your friends?
What choices would you make about your health, your habits, and your time?
Notice how your body feels as you imagine this. Do you feel stronger, lighter, more grounded? This visualization is more than daydreaming — research shows that reflecting on values and identity activates brain networks tied to self-control and motivation (Harris et al., 2009).
Visual Image Suggestion:
A person journaling with thought bubbles above them showing positive identity phrases: “I am strong,” “I am healthy,” “I am present.”
For Practitioners and Treatment Centers
For counselors, coaches, and treatment providers, helping clients shift identity is a game-changer. Instead of focusing solely on avoiding relapse, you invite clients to define who they want to be.
In the Empowered Recovery Curriculum, group facilitators guide clients through prompts such as:
“I’m the kind of person who shows up for my kids.”
“I’m the kind of person who values my health.”
“I’m the kind of person who speaks honestly.”
When clients articulate these new identities in a supportive environment, shame is replaced with empowerment. And research on Identity-Based Motivation Theory confirms that aligning behavior with a valued identity increases motivation and resilience, even after setbacks (Oyserman, 2009).
Visual Image Suggestion:
A recovery group sitting in a circle, with words like “Family,” “Health,” “Integrity,” “Growth” on cards in the center.
What Kind of Person Do You Want to Become?
The Clean Body Reboot isn’t just about cutting out sugar, grains, or alcohol—it’s about shifting your identity. When you move from “I’m trying to quit” to “I’m the kind of person who chooses health,” transformation becomes natural and lasting. This program helps you align your body, mind, and choices with the version of yourself you’re ready to step into.
Practical Pathways for Identity Shift
If you’re ready to step into a new identity, here are three progressive ways to begin:
✨ The 21-Day Breaking Free Challenge lets you test-drive new self-stories with daily prompts.
✨ The 28-Day Clean Body Reboot reinforces identity through healthy routines that align with values like health and vitality.
✨ The Empowered Recovery Course helps you lock it in, providing tools to rewire habits, rebuild identity, and live authentically.
For practitioners, the Empowered Recovery Curriculum offers scripts, worksheets, and group practices that bring this identity work into treatment programs.
Visual Image Suggestion:
A road with three signposts: Experiment (21-Day Challenge), Reinforce (Clean Body Reboot), Sustain (Empowered Recovery Course).
Anchoring to Who You’re Becoming
Recovery isn’t just about quitting something. It’s about becoming someone. When you shift from “I’m trying to quit” to “I’m the kind of person who…”, you stop focusing on resistance and start embodying your desired future.
Every aligned choice strengthens your brain, reshapes your story, and moves you closer to freedom.
Remember: your past doesn’t define you. Your identity does. And today, you have the power to choose who you want to become.
Episode 30: The Power of Identity Shift
References
Erikson, E. H. (1968). Identity: Youth and Crisis. Norton.
Oyserman, D. (2009). Identity-based motivation: Implications for action-readiness, procedural-readiness, and consumer behavior. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 19(3), 250–260.
Oyserman, D., Elmore, K., & Smith, G. (2012). Self, self-concept, and identity. In M. R. Leary & J. P. Tangney (Eds.), Handbook of Self and Identity (2nd ed., pp. 69–104). Guilford Press. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jcps.2009.06.001
Clear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits. Avery. https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits
Heatherton, T. F. (2011). Neuroscience of self and self-regulation. Annual Review of Psychology, 62, 363–390. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.121208.131616
Harris, A., Kaplan, J., Curiel, J., Bookheimer, S., & Iacoboni, M. (2009). Self-related processing in the brain: A meta-analysis of functional neuroimaging studies. Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience, 21(5), 799–816.
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